Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The doubt sets in...

Here is where I always struggle in the "wait". With all this IF research and advances can't they just figure out how to implant the embryos in the the uterus and then you would know automatically that at that point you would be pregnant! Yesterday was a hopeful day - I felt the happiness and hope of "knowing" this would work and thinking ahead to when the u/s would be to hear the heartbeat. Not to mention my body toying with me with either progesterone symptoms or BFP symptoms, that my breast were more full and hurt going down steps (which never happens) and lots of lower abdominal cramping (which I also never have). Then this morning, WHAP and it all goes away - for some reason I don't have the same feeling of hope today, even though all my symptoms are the same. I am an emotional wreck todak - the doubt, depression, and even thoughts about what would be our next step crept in leaving me feeling uterly hopeless and sad. Maybe it is me setting myself up for this not working and it not surprising me. This waiting time is such a rollercoaster and it just plain stinks! IF is so cruel sometimes!

2 comments:

Denise said...

Yes, it totally sucks! You feel like you are a yo-yo-emotionally. When is your beta scheduled?

Jen said...

I felt the same way both times. I just wish someone would put me in coma until I would reach the second trimester.

I'm crossing everything for you!